The other day I uploaded a poem lacking audio to continue this video series. Well, here’s the audio, including other recorded drafts from writing of experiences down in Oaxaca, brought back up to Tucson, & finally grounded into a performance over-looking downtown Tucson’s ambling & passing trains.
“how do you wake marrow up to the pain it’s feeling—”
“FULL MOON : DRY DOPAMINE”
Tucson, AZ, US, 4.5.18
The Star, A Decision
It’s funny—these were recorded on this past Full Moon, a day that all my prior lil plans fell apart, & I received a new tarot deck that shuffled me more than I it as we walked silent dead yacked out night thru deader parks under bruised purple sky w. silent homie & silent lips & a tarot reading that read again & again of Temperance Temperance Temperance —a warning & an invitation.
Then, heh, of all the decks potential mirrors, Justice fell from the shuffle, into my lap, face up, staring, rigid, holding her scepter—& that, that mothafucker up in the sky, that bright bringer of rise & fall & tide… laughed. Like water. The shape of water Temperance watches shift & gurgle & rush & coil like millions of lil blue snakes coagulated together between the jars she holds in either hand.
That night continued into details that can be left unexplained to this medium. Those there know the directions it took. Regardless, that night felt like an incarnation of the exact definition of habit I’ve been working w, “trying to recreate the past in the present.”
Well that shit failed. Here’s some testimony to it, where there is no Temperance, where the moon is veiled, where there is no absolutes or absolution.
& no… healing. At least, not beyond performing the notebook scrawls & scratches to embody the emotions, & attempt further release by making them public
“WRITE THE POEM, RECORD, UPLOAD,”
“This poem’s a continuation of the “Write The Poem, Record, Upload” series, a compilation of “first-drafts” recorded & performed to ground cultivating a humility that’s not self-loathing.
Much gratitude to the folks that have helped me get this far ❤